Saying Hello Makes All The Difference

Written by:  Lynette Hanover

It was  a few minutes past 7 AM as I walked across the snow covered street, hurriedly past one bus shelter, through a walk way, and across a 4 lane road to the LaSalle bus stop.  As I stood there in my black down coat, wool hat, double layer pink scarf, and insulted mittens I peered at the others who waited shivering with me.  Generally speaking I am a “Hello” type of person who can talk with anyone about nearly any topic, yet on this cold winter day I simply wanted to be quiet.  The thought of talking as the cold wind gusts blew around our bodies made me re-affirm that the very best choice was to stay quiet.  After about a 5 minute wait the long bus pulled up and quietly one by one my fellow Chicagoans boarded as I waited for my turn in the middle of the swarm.  After a few steps up I tapped my pass against the electronic reader and squeezed past a few passengers as I managed to find an open seat near the rear.

As I sat I lifted my black leather brief case to my lap and closed my eyes, dreaming of Hawaiian beaches with sand between my toes, a perfect warmth of sun on my body, and a shimmering blue ocean view.  As the bus made it’s way south toward the tall immense density of downtown the aisle was getting more and more crowded with commuters.  I could feel the coats of strangers against my body as they pushed past, and slowly opened my eyes as I left the tranquility of my warm fantasy and began to take notice of the people around me.

Many say mid-westerns are friendly.  Well, if friendly means a silent polite then this would pass that definition.  I gazed around in a slow somewhat methodical manner and took my time to observe the passengers before me.  The man who looks like Prince Harry with a brown coat, gold wedding band, and North Face back pack; the 20-something recent college grad with a Kate Spade red bag, too bright pink lipstick, and white wool coat with knee-high heeled boots; the plain dark haired girl with fashionable purple framed glasses who jerked her body as she played games on her cell….so many people were together to share this occasion on a dreary winter day.

The near silence as we moved south was only interrupted with an occasional “excuse me” as someone made their way through the packed in body to body chasm of people for the exit.  I sat there thinking of this silence as it reminded me of a farm out in the middle of the quiet country side where the next neighbor was miles away.  Quiet…where the rooster wakes you with the morning dawn and the sounds of live stock could be heard faintly in the background.  Only, here we were in the metropolis.  Tooting horns, truck sounds, footsteps, coughs, sneezes, and “excuse me”s.

How have we become this way?   I sat there pondering the culture of our city happily drenched in appreciation for the diversity in skin colors, lifestyles, viewpoints, ethnicities, beliefs, and ideas that are represented by the millions of people who call Chicago home.  Yet, there is more that can be done to bring us together in a much more connected way beyond simply a shared polite bus ride.

Rather than the silo existence that we share with “strangers,”imagine what our city could be like if we embraced our “neighbors” with a “hello,” saying “good morning,” or simply sharing a smile.  Have we all just created our personalities to blend in with an existing culture so that we can assimilate?  True creation comes not necessarily from what already exists, it starts with vision.  From vision it has the opportunity to morph into a beautiful, connected, fulfilling reality, one that no person before could conceive of as a cultural reality.

Imagine a world with everyone being friends, each person being a family member, connecting with each other, sharing, laughing, being embraced by the feeling of everyone being valued.  Positive momentum can start with a simple “Hello” and today is a perfect day to begin.

Love & Happiness…

Lynette

 

© 2014 Lynette Hanover, Life of Happiness

 

Want to share it?  Awesome, just be sure to include “written by Lynette Hanover” credit and tell your readers to enjoy more at www.lifeofhappiness.com

Comments?  Feel free to post below or write to lynette@lifeofhappiness.com

Lynette Hanover has lead life-affirming workshops in Chicago since 2013, and is available to assist local groups, organizations, and individuals embrace joy in living through customized workshops, speaking engagements, and coaching.  Appointments are available to help clients focus on achieving what is most important in life through self-love, respect, and appreciation.  For inquiries, Lynette can be reached through her web site:  www.lifeofhappiness.com.

 

Happy Spring: 4 Steps to Spring Cleaning Relationships

flower 234

Written by:  Lynette Hanover

With the spring season saying hello with lighter brighter days and warmer temperatures many people start their plans of spring cleaning their homes.  Perhaps at the top of the list is cleaning out the garage, purging from closets, or doing a deep clean from the ceiling fans to the baseboards.  Somehow moods are elevated, people seem to smile more, and there is a shift into what’s new and possible.

With the budding of a new season, also comes a perfect time to do some relationship spring cleaning.  This can be one of the most refreshing and beneficial things that you can do for yourself in your life.  Keep in mind that all healthy relationships are about balance.  They are not what is best for one person, it about creating harmony for everyone involved.

Define your values.

Take some time to reflect upon what is most important to you in relationships.  What do you value?  The best first step is to spend quite time reflecting upon your primary values and write them out.  From your list choose between 1 to 5 of them that are the most important to you, the ones that you can’t do without.

Assess your relationships

Think about the relationships that are most important to you such as your closest friends, romantic partner, family members, colleagues, and those in your community groups.  From your top 1-5 values where are you bringing these to your relationships?  If they are missing what can you do to start including them today?  Notice too where you are not receiving your core values.

Have conversations

There have been too many precious relationships that have been lost because people are not willing to communicate.   Generally people who are not having their needs met either leave a relationship or sacrifice themselves to maintain it.  It might not seem easy to have a conversation about what’s important to you, yet it is essential to help nurture a positive relationship.  It is equally important to listen to and honor the needs of the person you are in a relationship with.  Give the relationship time to adjust to the values that you both have agreed to, and maintain open dialogue.  All healthy relationships are in harmony and balance.

Be willing to let go

If there are relationships that are not in harmony with your values even though you have both given it your best be willing to say good-bye.  This might not be easy, yet it is one of the most loving things that you can do both for yourself as well as for the other person.  It is important to not just walk away, take the time to say good-bye with dignity.  What if the person is a family member or someone you are unable to stop seeing?  Set healthy boundaries by letting that person know what your needs are.  When you cleanse toxic unhealthy relationships from your life an opening occurs for more peace, harmony, and joy.  It also opens up opportunities for healthy positive relationships to come in.

Taking action for the best in your relationships will have a positive ripple effect in all areas of your life.  Start today, follow through, and you will start seeing positive life-affirming results.

 

© 2014 Lynette Hanover, Life of Happiness

 

Want to share it?  Awesome, just be sure to include “written by Lynette Hanover” credit and tell your readers to enjoy more at www.lifeofhappiness.com

Comments?  Feel free to post below or write to lynette@lifeofhappiness.com

Lynette Hanover has lead life-affirming workshops in Chicago since 2013, and is available to assist local groups, organizations, and individuals embrace joy in living through a customized approach.  Coaching appointments are available to help clients focus on achieving what is most important in life through self-love, respect, and appreciation.  For inquiries, Lynette can be reached at lynette@lifeofhappiness.com.   Web site:  www.lifeofhappiness.com

 

How To Be Happy During The Holidays

 

festive decorations

 

Written by:  Lynette Hanover

It’s the holiday season.  Time for cheer, holiday parties, shopping, and feeling festive.  Not so much in a festive mood?  You are not alone.  So many people feel the overwhelm of the season rather than the joy and merriment the ideal image conjures up in our imaginations.  On top of busy schedules of work, kids, volunteering, and other activities we are now putting up Christmas Trees, enjoyed a wonderful Hanukkah celebration, and prepare for Kwanzaa.  How do we release the stresses of the season and enjoy the spirit of the season?

It is about the “spirit” of the season and not the “doing” of the season.  

First I congratulate you on all that you have and will accomplish this holiday season.  Aunt Millie’s specialty tea pot gift, Joey’s Wii, the decorations, the cookies, the parties.  These help bring joy to everyone, including yourself.  The best advice I can give here is to be kind to you.  Don’t over-push yourself with busy times that you miss out on the magic.  It really is ok that you don’t make the 12th batch of cookies, or instead of going to 5 holiday parties, perhaps go to 3.  Take some quiet time to listen to holiday music, watch a favorite Christmas classic, drive around looking at holiday decorations, and spend time with those you love.  Slow down a bit to capture the essence and joy of the season.

Make a holiday bucket list. 

This list is not about writing down everything that you need to do.  This is your dream list. Take a moment to think about the holiday happenings and activities that bring you the most joy and create a list.  From this list pick out your top three and put them in your schedule.  If you have more than three favorites pick out your next top two and add them in.  As you do this take other things out of your schedule that are not the “must” dos as well as anything that can wait until 2014.   This is not about doing more…this is about including the things that make you the happiest in your life.

Enjoy each day.  

Today is the perfect day to feel festive and embrace the holidays.  Whatever yesterday was or wasn’t and whatever tomorrow may or may not be, today is the day to take it one moment at a time.  Take a few minutes right now to remember a time when you felt joy-filled about the holidays.  Close your eyes, visualize, and truly feel how that time felt.  Even when we are distracted or reactive to a situation, all we are to do is to stop…release what isn’t working and embrace the feeling that we would like to carry forward. Feeling festive can be created to help fully embrace the joy of the season.

Relationships are number one. 

The most important aspect of the holiday season and our lives are the relationships we share.  For some reason people create that the holidays are a time for us to come together as we enjoy the beauty of the season.  Yet, relationships are so much more than just around the holidays.  This season we have the opportunity to get closer, love, forgive as we need to, and carry with us positive momentum to have lasting, loving, and healthy relationships for the rest of our lives.

 

© 2013 Lynette Hanover, Life of Happiness

 

Want to share it?  Awesome, just be sure to include “written by Lynette Hanover” credit and tell your readers to enjoy more at www.lifeofhappiness.com

Comments?  Feel free to post below or write to lynette@lifeofhappiness.com

Lynette Hanover has lead life-affirming workshops in Chicago since 2013, and is available to assist local groups, organizations, and individuals embrace joy in living through a customized approach.  Coaching appointments are available to help clients focus on achieving what is most important in life through self-love, respect, and appreciation.  For inquiries, Lynette can be reached at lynette@lifeofhappiness.com.   Web site:  www.lifeofhappiness.com